I’ll keep this introduction short and ask you these questions:
Do you want to be confident?
Do you want to be relaxed with everyone you interact with?
Do you want to feel good enough to go for all you want?
Then let’s get going.
Realise mistakes and failure are fine –
We all seem to be trained over time to think that making mistakes or looking “bad” in front of others is one of the worst things to happen to us.
But making mistakes is absolutely fine, it’s how we learn, just allow yourself to make them and realise that it really doesn’t matter that it happened, it’s just your perception of it all that makes you feel embarrassed, accept what, live, laugh and learn.
Keep making mistakes, keep failing and allow yourself to learn from the experiences.
Do what you want –
Doing what you want to do, and not looking to others for approval will help you be more strong and confident in yourself.
Make a decision and forget what anyone else thinks, if it is what you want then allow yourself to do/have it.
If you want to move somewhere new, go for it. If you want to start a business go for it, if you want to be an elite athlete go for it… You get the idea.
Be giving –
You can’t feel fear from giving a gift.
Giving from the heart is coming from a place of abundance, real giving means you don’t’ NEED anything back.
You are open to receive, sure.
But there is no neediness.
Relax into giving your gift, compliment people, smile, do random acts of kindness, all to foster this giving energy which creates a very relaxed inner confidence.
Have fun, Be yourself –
Stop taking everything so seriously, stop being different around certain people trying to impress them or be a certain way you think they will approve of.
Love being you and have fun. Having fun means enjoying your life, and doing things that amuse you or that you enjoy doing, regardless of what someone else thinks.
Life isn’t something you have to work through or against.
Play with life don’t work, surrender to life don’t control.
Live life with a sense of humour. It’s meant to be fun.
Real confidence lies in vulnerability –
Vulnerability is being okay with who you are, it’s being okay with your insecurities and its the ability to express your feelings to not only yourself, but to the people you know and love.
There is so much confidence in being open and vulnerable.
Check out my article ‘Express yourself.‘ which highlights the importance of allowing our emotions to be exposed.
Do things that bring up your fears –
Pushing through your fear, and doing things out of your comfort zone will bring real inner confidence.
The realisation that you are capable of much more than you first thought, that moment when you break through perceived limitations of the mind you will start to grow.
Don’t be surprised if you start a healthy addiction to pushing through fear, it feels great.
Everyone feels what you do –
You are not alone in your fears and insecurities, most people have them in one way or another. Allow it to be, don’t resist what is, just flow with it and realise you are no different from the next person, but it is the actions that you take that can separate you from everyone else.
You are not alone, you are not a separate entity, everything in the universe is interconnected, remember we are all one.
Be Authentic –
Being honest with yourself and with others brings confidence in any situation, allowing what is to be and saying what you feel, frees you from your insecurities.
For example if you are nervous you don’t need to hide it, tell people about it, in doing this you take away it’s power, you can then move forward without the tension of feeling weird about it.
Be present –
Being present, and living in the now is the only way to be, but most people aren’t present, and are always worrying about the past and future, let go of everything that isn’t now.
For example if you see a attractive women or a man you want to go talk to, you may have a whole host of thoughts of what could go wrong which is destroying your confidence.
Release yourself from this by being present in the moment, bring your attention to your body and your breathing, in doing this you move forward without attachment to outcomes, no neediness, you can choose to give your real self, or give yourself as a gift.
With practice this will release you from fear and anxtiety in any situation.
None of it matters –
Maybe to some of you this may be an anti-climax and that it is contradicting what I have just said.. but just realise that none of it really matters.
Wanting to be more confident is just the ego getting involved and although many of my points are ways to feel good which in turn creates inner confidence you need to realise confidence isn’t a real thing, just another illusion. It’s just a name for the way everyone is when they are completely natural, relaxed and themselves.
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