Ever had an interaction where you were nervous? One which had you talking really fast, spilling words over each other and making you move your body about all over the place without any need for it?
This kind of “un-grounded” behaviour can have you coming across in the wrong way showing your nerves and making you less able to hold a decent conversation or be yourself to the max. You speak too fast, you think too much and you aren’t able to listen properly to the person you are interacting with.
Be present in your interactions to create relaxation.
Being present in your interactions means awareness of yourself, and what is going on around you (mainly what the other person has to say). Being present means you can truly listen to what the other person is saying, you can then take your time and think of what you want to say back (hopefully something relating to what they said ;)).
Listening when you are truly present can be felt by the person talking, it shows you are truly attentive and interested in what they are saying. This attentive listening will start making them feel more interested in you, and what you have to say back to them.
Grounding yourself through breathing deeply. How to be calm and relaxed.
When you are nervous or have fear, what tends to happen is that your breathing goes shallow, through breathing like this your words comes out with less control, and your awareness is out of your body and probably up in your head making you less aware of yourself and how you are coming across.
You will speak too fast, your words will tumble out and probably not be pronounced properly, your feet will likely shuffle about etc.. All signs that you are scared/nervous and it doesn’t come across very attractive, confident, or attentive.
To fix this you need to breath deeply, breath deeply into your body. Bring your awareness into your feet, or anywhere in your body.
Once you are breathing properly and are aware of your body, you can then enter into your interaction much more grounded, and attentive. Much more slow, thoughtful, and your listening skills will begin to develop (remember being a good listener is very important, it’s much better than cutting people off through your nervous babble).
Breathing deeply will bring awareness into your body, you will be present, being more in the moment relaxed and calm.
In your interactions it’s best to talk slower, leave pauses, and leave gaps for the other person to fill. Listen attentively and through you being grounded you can respond with a calmness that will allow you time to think about what you want to say.
Allowing yourself to take the time to think through what you want to say will hold the other persons attention, they know you are taking your time to give them your best response.
Remember to practice being present, and bringing awareness into your body through deep breathing in every “uncomfortable” interaction you are going to have. Bring awareness into your feet or other parts of your body.
Breathing properly instead of having unconcious shallow breathing will help you be relaxed, slow you down and bring you into the present in your interaction and trust me you will feel a whole lot better, turning you calm, relaxed and at ease enough to just enjoy the moment.
Practice at every opportunity you can.
To sum it all up –
- Be present and bring awareness into your body.
- Nervousness and fear bring less awareness through you being in your head, and overthinking everything.
- Shallow breathing is restricting the way you talk and move. Breathe deeply.
- Deep breathing brings awareness into your body, keeping you relaxed and slowing everything down.
- Being grounded and having your awareness in your body helps to keep you present, leaving you better able to listen properly to the person you are interacting with. It stops over thinking and being in your head too much, when you are out of your head you are able to sort through your thoughts easier and respond much better.
- Deep breathing helps bring you confidence, and you will become a strong presence when around others.