In this article I’m going to list 5 reasons why you aren’t taking action with what you want. I’m going to give you the solutions to make you into the action taker that goes for what you want, no matter what!
In this world we have the people that go for what they want, taking action as often as possible and we have those that don’t take action and settle for the easy path (normally the path that they don’t really want). In turn causing regret, dissatisfaction and unhappiness, not because they aren’t grateful for what they have, but because they didn’t give what ever they wanted a good f**king go when they had the chance.
“Succeed” or “Fail” they’ll never know because they didn’t even try. For me that’s the worst thing, not even trying something and never knowing whether I’d of made something of it or not. Even if I didn’t succeed with it, at least I knew I gave it a good go and took action toward what I want. That feeling you get when you know you should of gone for something and didn’t, is much worse than the feeling of failure.
The other day I had this very feeling after I was playing pool with a friend. We saw these girls, one of them I found quite attractive and we had a moment of eye contact. I didn’t go talk to them and we carried on doing what we were doing.. Just as we were about to leave for food they came over near to us and started playing pool, although I recognised that as a sign for us to talk to them I still didn’t say anything.
We had a bit more eye contact as we left the room and went on our way to get food/catch the train. Me and my mate then walked about 200 metres and as I was walking I started feeling like an idiot for not talking to the girl I found attractive. I’m a single guy so why not!? I had a slight feeling of regret that I didn’t say anything after she clearly showed me signs of interest.
Anyway after a moment or two of discussing this feeling I had about it all, I declared to my friend that I was going to run back and talk to her, so a minute or so later I was off like a rocket. She was leaving with her friend as I ran towards her (a little bit breathless after running 200 metres to catch up)and we started talking. I told her I felt an idiot for not talking to her and that I found her attractive and that we should go for a drink sometime. She seemed happy I came back and agreed to meet for a drink etc…
Now even though that can be seen as a “success” from me taking that action, I would of been fulfilled whether she had said yes, or no. Because at least I went for it and didn’t walk away without knowing what the outcome would be. It’s a win/win situation for me. I can come away in good spirits either way.
Let’s look at 5 reasons you aren’t taking action and see what solution we can cook up!
1. You don’t want it enough – To take action with what we want in any given moment, we need the desire to go for it no matter how we feel. If you don’t have that desire to take action than the chances are you will walk away without giving it a good shot. We can be very lazy and just think to ourselves – ‘Nah, I won’t bother doing that today I’ll leave it for another day’. This is basically a fear driven excuse and comes through not wanting it enough. We need an emotional drive toward that thing.
Solution – Think of reasons why you should go for it, think what you could have if you do and what you could miss out on if you don’t even try. Think what positive effects it could have on your life, think how you’d feel after truly giving it a shot and taking action toward what you want. Think how it could effect others around you, be a little selfless and imagine it’s benefits on the people in your life that could be involved. For example say it’s a passion you want to turn into your main income source, could it have huge potential and could it benefit the people around you as well as you? Could there be a chance you’ll succeed!?
2. You’ve created a bad relationship with fear – Let me explain… Nervousness and anxious feelings are classed as fear and are likely to occur when stepping out of our comfort zones, now these nerves are not the problem, the problem is allowing these fears to be seen as negative which means you don’t enjoy the feeling at all, you want rid of it as you don’t feel it’s natural. You want to suppress it, you wish it wasn’t there and you are scared of fear itself. This is a bad relationship with fear and it will halt you in your path to success.
Solution – Create a new positive relationship with fear. We need to learn to understand fear and realise it actually isn’t real. Our imagination/ thoughts of the future scenario creates that fear, so we make our fear up with our own thoughts. We are creating fake fears up in our own heads. Sounds silly right? Well yeah it is, and it’s stopping you taking action, so stop imagining silly scenarios that are likely never to happen!
The second thing we need to realise is that the feelings of nervousness are absolutely fine to have. It is a natural feeling, as it’s in our make up as human beings and there is no need to suppress such things. Just become aware of the feeling and become aware of where you feel it such as your stomach, chest and throat and allow it to be what it is. Practice deep breathing to relax your body as nervousness can make us rather stiff and shallow breathers! But don’t feel bad about nervousness, don’t create a hate towards it or think to yourself you’re wrong to feel it. Be honest with yourself and others, allow yourself to feel. See it as positive as you start taking action.
3. You’re not aware of your excuses – We all make excuses when it comes to doing something uncomfortable and when we aren’t aware of the excuses we make in our heads it’s very easy to listen to them and do exactly what they say – Here’s some examples of excuses I have made before that could stop me taking action with what I want “She probably has a boyfriend I won’t talk to her, she isn’t really my type anyway” (WHAT IS THIS!? ha.), “I’ll start my blog when I’ve learnt more about self development, I don’t know enough yet to write I can just start after I’ve learnt some more on the subject.” “I could go try this new job I’ve never done, but why bother it’s probably boring at that place anyway, it’s to far to travel, I could just wait till I’ve had more experience”. Silly excuses right? Any of these things could turn out great if I was just willing to give them a go. Admittedly I have gone ahead with all of the above, but still the excuses cropped up. Luckily I recognised them for what they are and eventually went for them anyway!
Solution – Recognise and become aware of the bullsh*t excuses you tell yourself and start taking action anyway. Every time you want to go for something become aware of your thoughts and wait for the excuses, and trust me they will pop up right on que. Become aware of them and ignore them. Go for it!
4. You’re not acting through love and giving – I understand I talk a lot about love and giving on my website and you probably think I’m just a massive hippy trying to “Spread the love mannnn”. Well in a way I am, but the real reason I mention it so much is because doing things through love has so much power! It will change your life when you realise what I mean about love and connection with all things.
The reason a lot of people feel so much fear is because they feel so much separation between themselves and everything/everyone else, they aren’t coming from a place of authentic giving and love. Love and fear are two ends of the spectrum, one can’t be in your life if the other is already there. It’s your choice which one you move from – Love or fear. From my own recent experience whenever I have come from a place of love and giving I have felt no fear at all. I try to spread this to everything that I do and so far it’s been incredibly eye opening and rewarding.
Solution – Come from a place of love and abundance meaning you can GIVE your gift without needing anything in return. Whenever you are in the process of taking action, tell yourself that you are about to give your gift, move from the heart and give, love what you are doing. Love yourself and love everything/ everyone around you. Feel the connection, and start taking action by giving your special gift that you have to offer the world. If you don’t think you have that special gift, then think again. I promise you do.
5. You’re letting other people rule you – ‘How will I look in the eyes of other if I “fail”?’ ‘Will people treat me differently if I become a success?’ ‘My friends and family don’t think I can do the things I want for a living, they keep putting me down about the passions I have, saying I should settle for a normal job, one that doesn’t require so much effort and brings in a stable income. Maybe I can’t do it after all’. ‘If I go talk to that girl what will the man near her think? What if I get “rejected” in front of everyone!? That would be embarrassing!’
As you see the opinions of others holds us back from taking action, by caring what other people think of you, it is actually ruling your life and putting a stop to going after your desires! Random strangers, and even people close to you are stopping you going for what you want purely because you’re afraid of their judgement. Does that sound good to you? ….No me neither.
Solution – Be “egoless”, release yourself from your ego the ego wants to always look good, it wants to feel good and not ever be put down it’s the reason you get embarrassed, it’s the reason you worry about opinions of others, it’s the reasons you aren’t as happy and content as you could be. It’s the reason you are afraid to fail.
Stop feeding your ego and stop caring what people think of you. This will be one the most freeing things you will ever do when it finally happens. Here’s more on the subject from a previous post I’ve done on that ego of ours and why it’s no good for us at all, just like the ring of power in Lord of the rings ‘It must be destroyed!!’ Nerd I know…. – http://georgehowardinspire.com/2014/01/19/your-ego-release-yourself-from-the-ego/
So there they are. 5 reasons you don’t take action, and 5 solutions to each reason! Start taking action and your life will improve dramatically, even if your life’s great already. There is always room for more action taking ;).
Lets not hold back any more. Let’s become action takers! Lets give everything we want a good go!! Succeed or fail we will be winners.