What brings happiness to our lives and what doesn't?
I have been thinking lately about what tends to stop people being truly happy.
The thing is people tend to look outside themselves for happiness, they look for it in other people, material things, home comforts, indulgence and buying things they don’t really want/or need.
When we feel down, we feel the want to buy nice things, eat nice food, compare ourselves to others and sit in the comfort of our homes losing ourselves in the lives of others through the television and the internet.
Unfortunately this only brings temporary fulfilment, these things will never bring true happiness and we all know it, deep down.
Happiness is a choice, not something you can buy, not something you can find else where. It's in you, now, right at this moment.
Here are 5 ways of living that don't bring happiness -
1. Comparing yourself to others –
Comparing your life to other people's can make it feel like you aren’t good enough as you are, or what you have isn’t enough.
You see people on the television with all these riches and lives of fame and fortune and you want that too! You think it will make you happier, you think you will feel good if only you had the money to buy the clothes they wear and the cars they drive or if only you could have their good looks.
Even though your life is filled with all you need, you still feel it isn’t enough.
We are being bombarded with the pictures of what perfect looks like from all angles, no wonder we start to think what we have isn’t good enough.
Forget comparing yourself to others, look inside yourself and see what truly makes you happy, accept yourself as you are, accept your situation and remember that often what you see being shown as happiness by others is often an illusion. Fame and fortune certainly doesn’t make people happy. If it really did, why do so many celebrities turn to drugs, or even kill them selves. Let’s think about that for a second.
2. Looking for fulfilment in material things –
What feels really good when you feel a little bit down about things?
Buying something new and shiny right? Something you probably don’t need. A new car, new clothes, jewellery or even a house you can’t afford.
Material things mean nothing in terms of happiness, it’s just a short-term high, you buy it, you feel good for a short time, then after a little while you feel unfulfilled again and the cycle continues.
By all means buy a house, buy a car, buy nice clothes but each time you do become aware enough of the reasons behind why you are doing it, think to yourself do I really want this or is it to fill a hole inside you? Is it an attempt to cover up how your true feelings? Is it to make you feel happy? Do you really need it? How much is it really serving you? Do you already have enough?
When you feel down, allow yourself to feel those feelings,“sit” in pain. Allow yourself to feel the pain and work out where it's really coming from. Don't avoid it.
3. Just existing, not living your purpose –
We all have a purpose on this earth, whether we follow our heart and take up that mission or not depends on whether we are truly living or just existing. Do you just go through the motions each day? Are you in a routine that bores you to the ground, but stepping out seems too difficult?
What are your passions? What do you truly care about? What do you love? If you know the answer to these questions then realise, that is probably your purpose. If you aren’t making time for that purpose then you will feel like something is missing. It’s your choice.
Truly living means living from the heart, do the things you love. Make time for it every day.
4. Always living in your comfort zone-
What scares you? What makes you uncomfortable? What do you want to have a go at, but the very idea of it makes you fill up with nerves?
Whatever that thing is (and it will continually change each time you face it) YOU NEED TO GO DO.
The things that scare us are often exactly what we need to be doing. They are normally what will help us grow the most. It may seem like an impossible task to step into these fears, but go at it with love and know that you will grow the most from these experiences.
Too much comfort will mean you won’t be doing the things you really want. It may not seem like it, but being scared is probably the best thing for you..
Are you going to be happy knowing that you could be missing out on some amazing experiences just because getting started means being a little uncomfortable?
Hell to the no!
5. Living To Please Others -
Pleasing others, making people feel comfortable, living a life expected of you from others, however you want to word to word it, it all means you are looking for acceptance from others instead of accepting yourself and living a life from your own hearts desire.
Happiness will come when you truly respect and accept yourself. Love yourself first and fore-most and live from the heart.
Doing what means most to you and being your authentic self without apology. This is your life. No one has the right to tell you how you live it.
Imagine the day you are on your death-bed, thinking back on your life, reminding yourself of the best moments of your life.. What would you remember? What would those memories look like?
You can choose to be happy, you deserve it. It's an inside job.