Choosing Our Partners
This week is all about mindful choices and how they affect our lives.
In the last article I talked about how ridiculous the concept of being busy and stressed is and how there is no need for it to affect us in any negative way, relaxation is our natural state, anything else is created by our over-thinking mind.
So today, it’s all about explaining the effect mindful choices have on our relationships.
Mindfulness is incredibly powerful in creating fulfilling partnerships, without it we cannot choose with full commitment.
I’ll start with a story:
This story is about me proposing to my partner, what a beautiful moment it was…. let me explain….
So I’m someone who loves to examine my heart on a regular basis, for a long time I had a very negative view on marriage, the very idea of it made me want to cringe, because all around me I could see destructive relationships and unhappy marriages.
So, while travelling I was examining my heart (driving for hours at a time got me thinking and feeling a large amount) so as I was driving along I felt in my heart how much I love and care for my partner, how I would literally die for her, how much we bring each other to new heights and support each other.. I felt I wanted to commit to her so fully, that it was a ridiculous notion not to want to propose the idea of sharing a life together and continue this epic adventure of creating memories, I realised I wanted to marry this girl, it was such a strong knowing in my heart.
From this knowing I could 100% mindfully choose to commit to my partner from the heart.
And you know what, when the moment came to do it, it was so emotionally charged, she could feel the love and emotion radiating from me and I could feel it from her, it came from an incredibly powerful heartfelt choice and that made all the difference in the world.
Of course doing something like that from my true heart’s desire rather than doing it because I thought it made sense or from societal pressures makes a huge difference to me and my partner experiencing an actual loving partnership.
Now of course, to be mindful and choose our partners, we don’t need to propose, it can be so much more simple.
All it means is to mindfully choose our partners in every moment we are with them, it is choosing to be 100% present with them, so when we love them they can feel it radiating from us, they can truly feel our presence.
Can you begin to imagine how that feels?
To mindfully choose our partners, or to mindfully not choose our partners (knowing when to let go) that is what it means to love and be loved.
Try asking yourself these questions:
If this was the last time you ever saw this person you love or if this was your last day to live how would you behave!?
How much would you love?
How much would you express happiness? This person might not be here tomorrow, don’t just expect them to be here, it might not happen.. Love as much as possible, now!
The problem is most people are floating along in a daze not knowing what’s going on or how they got here, they aren’t choosing their partners, they aren’t really with them.
Their partner doesn’t feel noticed, appreciated or loved, maybe at first they do, but then it fades as familiarity sets in and they feel they must be together instead of actually wanting to be together.
As human beings we are incredibly intuitive, we know on a subconscious level whether someone truly desires us or not.
The fear of being alone is more prominent than the actual want to be together.
We must free ourselves from need and move into our true heart’s desire.
CHOICE is the answer, choosing each other each and every day, we don’t need to choose our partner by saying “I will be with you for the rest of your life”.
We can’t promise that, How could we? But we can say “I love you today in this moment and I would love to choose you again tomorrow.”
Our partners are great reflectors of ourselves, they will tell us everything about us just by how we behave with them, just by how we choose to see them…
Here’s a poem I wrote on our partners being a reflection and how we have a choice:
It’s called Reflections.
“Is it true that what we see is a reflection of one’s projection?
That we simply choose what we want to see in the other?
Could this be true?
I choose to see you smile, a smile that shines deep from your heart.
I choose to see you relaxed, graceful, and true.
I choose to see your beauty flourish, profound and enchanting.
I choose to see you happy, for no reason at all.
I choose to see you walk, courageous and strong.
I choose to see you stand authentic, shining truth with every breath.
I choose to see you lay, relaxed and thoughtless, sleeping beside me.
I choose you to feel my love penetrate your core.
I choose adoration that soaks into your heart and soul.
I choose that you know how much you are appreciated for simply being you.”
What a great way to live our lives fully in the moment with each other, not waiting for another day to fully express our love for someone, but doing it now, choosing them right now!
And if we don’t want to choose them, if they aren’t right for us or us for them… Then we simply choose to have the courage to let them go, what’s the point of holding onto someone through fear and only giving them half of us, it won’t serve them and it won’t serve us in any way, we need to be fully there or not at all, otherwise that is where destruction comes in.
Strive for excellence, strive for love, strive to mindfully choose to have a fulfilling partnership.
It’s your choice.
If you enjoyed this article and it was of value to your life than I would love it if you shared it and helped it reach more people.
None of us know really what affect it could have on someone’s life, it could change someone’s life for the better for ever, and you can help it do just that.
I would also love to hear from you and your thoughts, reach out to me if you wish.
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