If a relationship isn't fun…. Then what's the point?
A loving partnership thrives on fun and play, I'll say it again what's the point in a relationship if it's not fun?
Okay, so before you say it… Yes there are times in our lives where we have to be a little bit serious, we have responsibilities, things to do, and sometimes problems come up.. Sure I believe that… That's fine, maybe it's not always fun, if our partner is feeling sad, something tragic has happened or we are feeling sad, then of course feel those feelings, be there for each other.
But, does that mean we can't always have an underlying spirit of fun and childlike play in our lives? Why does being an adult in a relationship suddenly mean we have to become serious, heavy and let's face it….. Just boring?
Where's the play between us? Everything in our relationship should have an ounce or two of fun within it surely?
Our attitude to life changes everything, it's our choice!
Let's greet each other with love in our eyes, run jump and hug our partner, jump around, play fight, laugh, chase each other playfully.
Let's be spontaneous in our interactions with our partners, with our friends, with our family.. Let's make this a fun life, because why not? Life is not as serious as we like to make it out to be.
I don't know, I feel like some people enjoy the drama they can create, the ‘woe is me’ type attitude is addicting to sit in for many people, they like to sit in their mediocrity.
Creating drama and living in mediocrity is down right boring, why do we put up with it in our relationships? Sure we love the person so we wouldn't want to leave just because of their dramas… But why not, why are we settling for any less than an excellent, fun and playful relationship.
A fun life shared between two lovers full of smiles and laughter, I mean who can argue with that being the best way to live.
I would like to invite you to examine your adult life, to look at yourself as a grown up man or woman and see if you can find inside yourself that inner child that loved to seek fun as a younger you, is he or she in there? Is he or she close to the surface?
Can you feel them wanting to break free?
Ask yourself these questions:
What do you feel you're being too heavy and serious about?
In what ways could you lighten up and enjoy life a little bit more?
How can you add more joy to your relationship?
How do you greet people? How much do you smile and laugh?
How often do you try and make your partner smile and laugh?
What are you worrying and stressing about? Is it really that big of a deal?
Here's something I made up a while ago, while contemplating life as I often do:
“The next time you feel worried about something in your life, like something small such as exams, your job, money or talking to someone you find attractive..
Try slowing down, try contemplating the universe and how small you are in comparison.
Try contemplating historic figures and the courage they had in them to do what they did, to stand up in what they believed in, in some of the toughest times there will ever be..
Try putting your worries into perspective..
Move out of your small thinking and into bigger thinking, into bigger questions, into things much bigger than yourself.”
Children know this, children aren't in their heads, children are in their hearts and they recognise that life is much bigger than them, they recognise that they are tiny and let's face it insignificant in the grand scheme of things.
It's not like they think this consciously, it is just some subconscious, they relax into the flow of life.
The more we learn to drop into our hearts with the spirit of fun and play, the more we can enjoy life and move away from our petty worries, fears and seriousness that is weighing us down and stopping us from truly enjoying the life we have.
So here's your homework:
Start choosing your attitude to life and START TO PLAY.
Just for a little while, drop any of your seriousness about life or the things you have to do and start having fun, greet your partner with love and playfulness, make them smile and laugh, love them fearlessly.
Start a play fight, wrestle them to the ground.. Just be spontaneous and do whatever you find fun, including them in your little bubble.
I'm sure you get the idea, drop the heaviness, drop the negative attitude to life, drop the seriousness and start to have fun, be light on your feet, drop into your heart, play as you did when your were young and carefree.
Please let me know how you get on with this homework.
It's going to be a lot of fun.