Limiting thoughts and beliefs hold us back in all walks of life and our relationships are no exception.
The things we believe to be true and the ideas we hold onto shape our lives. To create a fulfilling relationship over a long-term basis we must drop all that doesn’t serve us so we can create space for new thoughts that serve us and our relationship every single day.
Long-term relationships will test us in ways we would never believe, they are the ultimate growing experience. We can choose to grow, or we can choose to shrink and not live to our true heart’s potential.
Everybody has the potential to create amazing, fulfilling relationships that are bursting with unconditional love.
Here are 10 limiting thoughts that hold us back from achieving this fulfillment:
1.If I give to my partner, I’m entitled to get the same back.
A relationship cannot thrive if we are holding onto the idea of giving to get something back, to allow ourselves to love fully and be truly happy in our relationships we must give unconditionally.
That means never expecting anything back from the ones we decide to love, ever.
2. They should be the way I want them to be.
Expectations create frustration, when we are in a relationship we can start to see things in our partners that we would in some ways like to change, so we start to expect them to do just that.
Expecting our partners to change to please us will create frustration and will leave no space for us to fully appreciate the person we love.
3. I’ll avoid loving too deeply because then I can avoid getting hurt.
We can never avoid pain in our lives and it is almost certain that our partners will bring pain to our lives in someway, large or small.
Afterall we care so much for them so it’s natural for them to be able to hurt us.
Holding back in how deeply we love just lessens the experience of the deep fulfilment we can feel from delving into our owns hearts.
If we muster the courage we can create incredible relationships, with nothing held back.
And no matter what happens it will be the greatest experience of our lives.
4. My partner is holding me back.
In a long-term relationship it can sometimes occur that we start to see others around us that we may be attracted to or connect to on some level, yet we are in a relationship so we are ‘restricted’ to one person, meaning we can’t have sexual experiences with these people we are attracted to.
Now for the uncommitted person this is a frustrating experience and they begin to blame their partner, either directly or indirectly.
They feel restricted because they haven’t yet realised that they in fact have a choice, every single day, they have complete control over whether they choose to meet new lovers or fully commit to their partners.
If we simply sat and asked ourselves what we truly want, we would no longer point the finger of blame at our partners and instead make a powerfully mindful choice that brings full commitment to either decision.
This creates a strong presence and authenticity in a relationship that our partners can feel.
5. I need them for my happiness.
We become so entangled in our relationships that we sometimes forget we are two individual people, with individual needs and desires.
We also start looking to the person we love for our happiness, the problem with that is, the only place happiness dwells is within.
The moment we stop looking outside ourselves for happiness, we will be happy and this creates happiness in our relationships.
6. I’ll only be authentic and honest if they are.
It takes courage to be truly authentic in any area of our lives, but it’s incredibly freeing and brings us so much power.
The thing is too many of us wait for our partner to truly open up before we do, if we make it a practice to have the courage to open up, we allow our partners to do the same.
Be the inspiration for your partnership, if they judge you, ridicule you or put you down…
They aren’t for you.
7. I’m not good enough or worthy enough.
This is a big limiting belief and I believe it’s the easiest to work through.
Let’s ask ourselves this question… Do we have to be good enough to love?
Wanting to be good enough or worthy enough for a partnership comes from our ego and our need to be loved and accepted.
Yet it doesn’t matter in the slightest if it was true that we aren’t good enough, all we have to do is love with all our hearts anyway.
Automatically we become good enough.
8. If I don’t put them first, I’m selfish and they won’t love me.
We’ve all heard the term: “You can’t truly love others unless you first love yourself”.
It’s 100% true. Without self-love and self-respect we put others before ourselves and we set ourselves up for self destruction.
It’s okay to be selfish sometimes, it’s okay to do things for ourselves, it’s okay to put our needs first.
Your partner will still love you if you do things for you, in fact they won’t just love you… They’ll respect you.
9. I have to make long-term promises.
We all put so much pressure on ourselves to promise the world to our partners through fear of losing them, yet anything into the future that we promise can never be truth, it can only be a false promise and we all know it.
We have no real knowledge of how we are going to feel about each other at anytime in the future, feelings we feel today could completely change tomorrow, yet we promise to be around for ever.
The only true promise we can make is that we will love our partners in this moment, here and now and that we want more than anything to continue loving them today and tomorrow.
10. I have to make compromises to make the relationship work.
No one should ever have to compromise the life they want for someone else, this is a sure way to create frustration and resentment in the long run.
We don’t need to compromise anything for each other, but we can create a shared vision together in which we can support each other fully through the creation of that vision.
A shared vision creates a strong bond in any relationship and I believe it’s a big key to create a fulfilling partnership.
The fact is, if our lives don’t add together and we are put in the position where we have to compromise our dreams to be with someone else, well that’s the time to ask ourselves truly what we want more and head in that direction with full commitment.
If you’re lives don’t come together in harmony and you are moving in different directions, don’t fight it, don’t compromise, simply allow it to flow and go in the direction it is ready to go in.
If we eliminate from our lives these beliefs that hold us back, we can create an incredible relationship that no matter what happens we will look back at with love for the rest of our days.
It’s time to take back our power and create something incredible.